Why can’t I find a decent man ?! #seriously

Photo by Mark Giarrusso at wwwartsocialonline.com

Photo by Mark Giarrusso at wwwartsocialonline.com

So where are all the good guys hiding?

It seems to be a common question that women ask me on a daily basis, especially women who have been in the dating game for a few years.

When the biological clock starts ticking and all our friends start getting married one can be prone to doing 3 things in a man drought: a) break out in cold sweat and start dating a new man, any man every single night. b) Resign yourself to spinsterhood and stock up on knitting magazines; cat food and refuse to dye your hair, or c) settle for second best just so you don’t “miss out”!

Ok I may exaggerate, but desperate times will lead us to desperate measures, and none of those options have to be a choice! So let’s look a few reasons why you can’t find Mr Right:

Dating the wrong guys

The thing is as humans (yes unfortunately us females are also mere mortals like men!) we create patterns and habits in our life that we can be unconsciously unaware of. If you were to look back on all your past relationships what similarities would you see in the men that you have dated?

And then look at the patterns created by dating those particular types of guys and presto the math problem is solved! It seems so simple yet so many women are unaware of the type of relationships they are attracting into their life. It’s all very good to have a certain “ideal type” of guy in our brains but we must also learn to be realistic, practical and well sensible to some degree.

This doesn’t mean you have to compromise on being in love or being attracted to your man, but rather realise it’s not just about what you want but also what is NEEDED in a man to have a successful relationships.

In other words ladies, stop dating commitment freak douche bags that have no respect for you or your relationship.

Get specific and stop compromising.

Stop wasting time on the wrong men! If he isn’t on the same page as you and your values and ideals don’t line up or you aren’t compatible then don’t date him.

Quit the drama before it even has time to begin by consciously deciding to only date the right type of man for you. Write down a list of character traits you wish him to have, be realistic but also be honest with yourself.

If you have a healthy self love than you will know the difference between compromising and settling and at the right time will be able to make that call. If you exist (and you are fabulous) then so does your (equally fabulous) man.

He’s just waiting for you to stop dating time wasters.

What issues do you need to address within yourself?

We aren’t perfect and we aren’t always right (shock horror!) so in most cases there are a few (or a lot) of things we need to change in our own self so that we can ensure the success of the relationships in our life.

What baggage do you need to change? Do you know your self worth and value so that you can attract a man whom also recognises it? Are you secure and happy without a man?

For myself I found it wasn’t till I had addressed all my own issues that I began to attract the right type of man into my life. Setting yourself up for a healthy relationship starts with the relationship you have with yourself.

Timing vs. being proactive.

Timing is a part of it all, but you also are in control of your actions and you always have a choice to sit around and wait for him or be proactive in managing your life to be able to invite him into it.

Focusing all your time and attention on finding the right man will only just prolong the process, learn how to be happy and secure as a singleton first but also be aware of what your words and actions are doing daily.

Most of the time you are single by choice not by chance ( whoa hold the fort!) In essence you are responsible for your choices in who you date and what you do in your life to attract the right relationship.

There’s hope and he’s worth the wait!

Don’t give up you aren’t going to die alone with 72 cats, your man does exist and he is waiting for you. It may not happen in your timing but it will happen, and when you do finally decide to wait for him and not just date other average men in between just to fill the gap, you will appreciate him even more when he arrives!

Make the conscious decision today to not settle for anything less than what you deserve.

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