Your guy is pulling away from you.
You know about it but unable to do anything about it.
You are wondering why is it happening?
You always thought he likes you and was showing interest in you.
Then, why is he acting distant all of a sudden?
Will he come back?
Why is he doing this to me?
What have I done wrong?
There are all sorts of terrifying thoughts and puzzling questions that go in your mind when your boyfriend starts pulling away from you. You feel devastated if you really liked him. You can’t help but wonder, WHY?
Let’s start with this, according to experts, “It’s not because of you.”
There can be several reasons of this WHY.
Why Do Guys Pull Away and Come Back?
There are many reasons why men do that, and it’s not always because of you. Maybe there is something going on in his professional life, or family or friends. Just like you, other parts of his life need his attention. Men are often not that good at handling too many things at one time.
Maybe right now, he is under stress and diverting all his energy and attention towards dealing with those issues.
We understand it is an awful feeling and our best advice to you is wait and be patient. Give you and your relationship some time to come back on track.
However, there are some signs which can tell you that he may be pulling away.
If he starts to represent these signs, then you know something is wrong:
- Does not respond to your text/ your calls like before.
- Spends less time with you.
- Small things start bothering him.
Every relationship is different, and every guy is different too, but there are some universal reasons for guys to withdraw from a relationship.
Why do guys pull away?
Most of the times men just look for some space. They are perspective about the relationship and their life. It is possible that your guy does not even relate to your thoughts and he is not really pulling away, He just needs some SPACE!
Why do they need space?
- He is stressed: Both men and women have different ways to deal with stress. As a woman, your first instinct is to seek comfort and talk about it with friends or loved ones. While men will crawl into their man cave while they are stressed, and they try to solve the issues in their own way.
You can’t force your guy to open up just because you think it’s right for him. The more you poke, the more he will withdraw. This will get you nowhere, but you get bind into a vicious game of push and pull.
Instead, invite him to open up but don’t push it too far. Understand that he is already having a hard time from other external factors and you don’t want to be another source of stress.
Give him time, if he needs your advice or wants to share his problems, he will come to you.
- To get perspective: There can be many reasons why he is looking for space or perspective. However, concluding that withdrawal as a sign of upcoming break up is a bit exaggeration.
It is a possibility that something about the relationship is bothering him, so he needs a break to get some perspective. Guys usually create a space in a relationship when they are required to think clearly about things.
When you stop worrying about him pulling away from you, you will also get some perspective and manage the situation better.
- Scared of commitment: For some men, monogamy and loyalty is still a foreign concept. Perhaps they have never been in a serious relationship or had a bad experience in the past. Maybe he is not ready to be in a serious relationship or unsure about whether you are the one. And it’s completely OK for him to have that feeling.
A relationship is a two-player game. You can’t pull the burden of the relationship alone. If he is not ready to commit and you feel that he is worth it to wait, then do it. There is no way that you can force or trick him to make a commitment.
- Relationship is getting too intense for him: There are some relationships that go from zero to a hundred. According to stats, relationships that start with a lightning speed are not often healthy and don’t last long. The initial excitement fades away in some time and the guy may start rethinking about the relationship.
Do understand he is rethinking and doesn’t conclude that he doesn’t like you anymore. Most guys have cold feet at some point in the relationship, sooner the better.
When you think he is pulling away, he just wants to take things a bit slow and create a well-paced space for the relationship.
- Clinging on to his independence: All romantic relationships require some degree of dedication, commitment, and effort. However, some guys value their independence and freedom. Many a times they believe that getting in a serious relationship represents a loss of freedom.
Most men grow up with a thought, where they view women as a source of burden and responsibility. It is difficult for them to shrug away that feeling.
Moreover, if your guy was not looking for anything serious when he met you, he will feel more trapped. Though he does love spending time with you, he will still crave for some space.
So, what you do? You give him that space. This will help them figure out what their heart really wants.
Why do guys need space after all?
Because he is anxious. He can be anxious about millions of reasons. He can be anxious about stress at work, the future of the relationship, losing his freedom, etc. etc. The list can be endless here.
His anxiety is similar to your anxiety about him breaking up with you. It’s natural for guys to move away to get the focus back. This is one of the main reasons why the guy pulls away and then comes back into the relation.
Relationships are tough, no matter you think you know it all, it will never cease to surprise you. Try to read as much as possible about dating and why men react the way they do.
You can start by going through dating websites like https://datingblush.com/. You will find expert columns that guides single women to identify their roadblocks in dating and attract good men and develop better communication.
This will empower you with new insight into the psychology of men and the reasons behind their behavior.
Let’s dig deeper on why do guys come back!
Why do guys come back?
Will he come back?
Well yes, most of the times they do.
- They regret their decision: The study reveals that 43% of men regret breaking up with their partner. After some time, they realize that they had not given the relationship a fair chance or not worked hard enough for it. Many guys even over evaluate small issues and realize later that they were making mountains out of an anthill.
- They didn’t find anyone else as good as you: Those little flaws that made him go away seem minuscule when they date other people. His belief that he could do much better gets crushed when he dates in the real world. They realize that you were great, but they failed to appreciate you better.
- He feels guilty about what he did: Most guys are nice, and they would never intentionally want to break your heart. That is the reason they feel guilty and always come back to check on you. However, they often don’t realize that this is the worse that they can do to you.
What to do when he is pulling away?
If you really think that the guy is worth it for you to put in the effort, then give him space. Space doesn’t mean silence, but a comfortable distance, where he knows how to reach you back. Let him know that you are there for him if he needs you.
Be respectful about the fact that he needs to be apart from you to get things straight in his mind. Men process things in a different way, so appreciate that and focus on yourself for some time.
You can also suggest some changes to make your relationship more comfortable for him. For instance, if you spend all your weekends together, give him and yourself a break. This will mellow down the intensity and give a happier and comfortable place for your relationship to bloom.