It can be discouraging and confusing looking for love …
Especially when we don’t find it within our ideal time frame and often when things don’t go to plan or we have been hurt and disappointed too many times we tend to settle for the next best thing ( or person ) that comes along, and so lose a sense of what we really desire and deserve.
The truth is we can’t start a new chapter whilst still reading the last one , and it definitely becomes a lot easier to find something when we have a clear idea of what it is we are wanting to attract.
For those who follow my journey through my blog , you will know that my last toxic relationship was the reason I started this website ; I wanted women to know that they weren’t alone and that support , love and advice was waiting here for them .
The turning point of my healing from my toxic ex was when I was in London and I realised that it was now or never that I had to pull myself and broken heart out of the slump and stand tall and fight for what I knew and seen exist in other peoples lives: a healthy , happy and for filling relationship .
After buying a journal I sat down and wrote 3 lists which I believe are integral to helping you find the real love you yearn for:
List 1: A list of who you are.
This is about recognizing and honoring who you are as a person and understanding what you have to give to a relationship .
Write down all your positive qualities and habits and don’t hold back, because chances are you do have a world of things to offer someone , it’s just you haven’t met the right person who appreciates them.
The first step to receiving an awesome love , is by learning to love yourself wholly and understanding that until you feel complete as a single person , you will never be able to have the full benefits of being with someone .
List 2: A list of the relationship you are deserving of.
This is your chance to write down everything your heart really desires and yearns for in a relationship . After you know your worth , you will know what is acceptable and what is not and where boundaries should be drawn .
We all have dreams and hopes of what we want our relationship to be like , and the the good news is , is that they are achievable. You deserve to be loved wholly and unconditionally and to be with someone who puts in equal effort and brings out the best in you .
You deserve faithfulness, honesty, joy and peace ; this isn’t about asking for the unobtainable , but rather the basics and a little bit more.
List 3: A list of the man you want and need.
It’s time to get specific and clear about what qualities you not only want but also need in your man.
Writing a list doesn’t mean that every single one of them will get ticked off, but rather it’s a good way to get clarity about the character of a man that you want to attract.
Remember to be realistic and try and focus on what is really important , but also be honest with yourself and don’t hold back on even the little details.
After I completed these lists , I put them somewhere where I could see them daily and remind myself of what it was that I was waiting for.
It takes discipline to not settle for second best , especially when you have for so long, but we are in control of our lives and making better choices does mean sacrifice on the way. Stick to ( within reason) the guidelines you have written , remember your worth and what you are deserving of !