So you’ve found a good egg…
And started to form a relationship with him that is getting on the serious side, which is an exciting season of your life!
The honeymoon phase is always a good place to start laying down the fundamentals of a healthy relationship because let’s face it, you’re both on cloud 9, no one can do anything wrong and everything is “ just amazing” !
So time to capitalise on those rose coloured gooey feelings and set yourself up for a relationship that actually ends in a real honeymoon ha! #jokingnotjoking
1. Communication is your best friend
It really is probably the most important foundation of any relationship; communicate effectively and you’re halfway there. Because you are both infatuated with each other and will be talking about everything, it’s a good excuse to also talk about both of your feelings, expectations, and thoughts of the relationship.
I’m not saying you should sit down and have an intense talk, but rather just discuss things as they come up, don’t wait for it to all bottle up and then explode in a glorified emotional outburst, save yourself the drama and just address things straight away. Men aren’t mind readers and will actually appreciate the honesty and directness.
2. Compromise and boundaries go hand in hand
As you start to find out more and more about each other you’ll also begin to find out what your differences are and where challenges will arise for you both.
It’s not easy melding two lives together, but it’s not impossible and making the effort to understand each other’s wants, needs, goals and habits will give you a better idea of each other’s character and expectations of the relationship.
There is a big difference between settling and compromise, so stay true to who you are, remember your self worth and don’t make decisions based on a temporary emotion.
See the bigger picture and if you are unsure about certain areas, ask trusted friends and family for their perspective. Learn to be flexible, it’s not just about what one party wants, it’s about learning to meet half way and having equal give and take.
If you run into road blocks (which you will!), work through them, express your feelings, come to an agreement that is fair to both parties and if boundaries need to be established then do so straight away so that there is no confusion or games.
3. Schedules and time management are important
Both of you have lives outside of each other ( well one would hope) and therefore you need to learn to be flexible and also sensible in how you are going to manage your time together and apart so that neither party feels neglected or under pressure.
Communicate openly every week about this and learn to ASK each other instead of tell one another what you are doing. Time apart is also equally as important, it helps keep things perspective, recharge you and allows you to appreciate the time you have together more.
4. Trust is earned over time
Don’t be so quick to believe you know everything and anything about your partner, in no way should you be cynical or a closed vault, but have an understanding that trust is built over a period of time by default.
Trust however is also a choice, and it’s usually easier to do if you communicate openly and honestly to each other about your fears, thoughts and expectations. Learn to nurture actions and words that encourage trust daily and your relationship will continue to grow stronger.
5. Don’t fall into a routine, keep it spontaneous
It’s easy to spend so much time together that you start to get a little complacent and a routine sets in. Continue to keep the romance and dating period alive even after you have passed the initial first stages.
Set a date night once a week, go away together and experience new things together so that you can keep things fresh and interesting ( heck life is too short to be boring!).
Some routine is important as it helps to keep you both accountable and on track, just don’t get stuck in a rut; have fun and make romancing each other an integral part of your relationship.