Are men are giving up on dating?
On a daily basis, I have so many women say to me they just can’t find quality men out there to be able to build a relationship with.
Are men actually throwing in the towel when it comes to dating?
Well, what I’m going to do is I’m going to give you the six main reasons why men are walking away from dating.
The reason why I want to do that is because I want to give you an insight into how a man’s mind works, and what it is that you need to understand about them in order to be able to bring the best part of them forward so that you can attract more quality men and build a healthy relationship.
Hey everyone, welcome back to my blog. I’m Renee Slansky, and I’m a professional dating and relationship coach. In this blog, I’m really going to get real and raw about why men are walking away from dating. And I’m not just pulling this out of my hat.
I have literally asked hundreds of men out there through a survey, what it is that they hate about dating.
I’m also going to be able to share something with you really special today about a way that you can strategically activate more quality dates in your life through a specific dating website.
So stay tuned with me on that. In the meantime, if you’re new to my blog, don’t forget to visit my YouTube channel and give me a thumbs up. Subscribe, if you want to have more blogs like this. And if this blog does help you, drop a, “Thanks, Renee,” on my YouTube Channel.
Here are 6 main reasons why men give up on dating
That’s right, ladies. We’re actually the ones that ghost more than men. Now I know that I’ve done a lot of videos on my YouTube channel for you ladies, on what to do when you’re ghosted by a guy.
But to be honest, it’s actually us ladies out there who need to be more careful with the way that we treat men. There is absolutely no reason that even if you’re not interested in someone and you don’t want to see them again, there is no reason why you need to just disappear without any sort of trace.
Ghosting is a really immature way and it’s also incredibly disrespectful.
It’s not making you come across as a high-quality woman even if you’re not interested in that guy. If you aren’t interested in him, then let him know upfront through a text, or through a phone call. Give him some sort of closure.
It’s not that you have to go and explain yourself in full detail.
However, ghosting is something that is literally having such a big effect on men right now that they’re just thinking, “Well, what’s the point in me dating at all if all I’m going to do is be ghosted every time by a girl?”
2. Men are feeling like they are just wallets.
What I mean by that is obviously, there is a culture out there where men are paying for first dates and women are taking advantage of that.
Now, as somebody who is a quite old school myself, I think it is very romantic and chivalrous for a man to be able to pay for a first date.
- It isn’t about taking his money.
- It isn’t about trying to test him.
- It’s mainly just an act of old-school romance.
However, ladies, this does not give you a reason to go and take advantage of men. Unfortunately, there are literally Facebook groups and YouTube channels out there telling women how to take advantage of men. How to get anything that they can out of them. And quite frankly, guys are sick of it and that is so understandable.
We need to be reminded that even if men are able to pay, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they should or have to pay every single time.
- Men are humans.
- Men have emotions.
- Men have so much more to contribute than just filling your financial pockets here.
- Men are walking away from dating because they are tired of being used for their money or their status.
Now ladies, can I just say, if you’re somebody who feels insecure or you’re somebody who wants to be able to get ahead in the world financially or through certain achievements, then do that on your own.
Dating a man is about him adding to your life.
It’s not about you trying to take whatever it is that you can from him in order to be able to leverage it and put yourself above.
It’s time, ladies, to be a little bit more humble, to take a bit more accountabilities, and realize that men aren’t just wallets for us to be able to use.
3. Women with no standards
A big reason why men are walking away from dating is this, there are a lot of women out there who just have no standards. Basically, we’re in this culture that, because of dating apps and social media and the fast pace of just life in general, we have what’s called a hookup culture.
Hookup culture basically means that people don’t have to put in effort in able to be able to get what it is that they want, which is usually sex.
If you are tired of hookup culture and you want to be able to build quality relationships, then you need to have certain dating standards.
That means, knowing what your worth is, and being able to communicate that from the right date.
If you find yourself going on dates and attracting men who take advantage of you and you chase them, maybe you are dating the wrong type of man. It’s also possible that you attract these men because you lack standards and accept anything they provide, even if it’s just scrapped.
Attraction isn’t a reason to have a lack in your love life. You have to be able to have certain standards.
Because if you don’t, then you are setting the benchmark so low for him that he doesn’t need to put in any more effort in order to be able to woo you and romance you, and treat you right.
We are in a hookup culture, and I’m someone who, in the industry, I see a lot of dating apps out there. I think it’s really important that if you want to be able to set yourself up in love, you need to get a little bit more strategic about how you date.
We can’t just go out there and go, “Okay, I want to find someone, so I’m just going to put myself out there. I’m going to go on this app. I’m going to go on this site and let it do the work for me.” That just doesn’t work.
4. Women’s standards are too high
Not only are they walking away because maybe your standards are too low, but because women’s standards are too high. I’ve talked about this in my video (check it out) when I was talking about high-maintenance versus high-quality women.
A lot of you women out there, unfortunately, is high maintenance. In your head, you’re thinking, “No, no, I have a high standard.” But that standard is actually unrealistic.
What you are doing is you’re setting the bar so incredibly high that men feel they have to perform or reach a certain status or be a certain height, ladies, or earn a certain amount of money, before you deem that they’re worthy enough to date.
We need to be able to get ourselves off our own pedestal and realize that these are human men looking for quality relationships, and they have something to offer.
Having a realistic standard should be the goal here, not having a super-high standard.
You can be a high-quality woman and still have a realistic standard, it doesn’t mean that you have to be high maintenance.
5. Legal system is rigged against them
I’m sure a lot of men on my channel who seem to get on there and tell me their opinion quite regularly will agree with this.
A lot of the reasons why men are walking away from dating and commitment, in general, is because they believe that the legal system is rigged against them.
There is a system that is geared, in my opinion, more towards the favor of women than the favor of men when it comes to divorce when it comes to the custody of children when comes to a whole lot of court proceedings where men are being left in the dark end when it’s not necessarily their fault.
Look at the whole Johnny Depp and Amber Heard situation. Amber Heard played the victim for a really long time. And in fact, Johnny Depp ended up winning the court case because they realized, “Hang on a second, he was the victim here.”
We need to remember that men have their limits.
Even if there have been moments in history, or maybe even moments in your life, where you have been the victim, it doesn’t mean that every single guy out there is the bad guy.
I believe that a system that is just, is a system that looks at both cases instead of just focusing on the female purely because she is female.
Ladies, that really is one of the reasons why men are struggling to see the value in marriage or putting the effort into dating, because they are scared that if they do something wrong or if they do commit and it doesn’t work out, then they’re the ones that are going to get the sore end of the stick.
6. The social media trap
This was quite interesting and something that I wasn’t really expecting, but it makes a whole lot of sense and is very relevant since we are a social media society.
When I was doing this survey, I had several guys say, “I feel, Renee, that women are putting more effort into their social media profile than they are their own selves and when they go on a date.”
So for example, he will look at her social media profile, and then when he meets her in person, she’s either not what she looks like. So a little bit of catfishing. Or she’s so self-obsessed, that it’s all about her instead of actually learning about him and trying to build something together, that it becomes almost this fake sort of profile and ID and the world that they create on social media, when in reality, who they are doesn’t match that.
As you can see. So what I’ve done is, that today’s blog is actually sponsored by dating.com. Now, dating.com is the world’s largest dating site. When they approached me at first I was like, “Okay, if you’re the world’s largest dating site, then chances are there could be a lot of users on there who are having negative experiences because there’s just so many people.”
However, when I dug into it and did a lot more research, I realized that this was a dating site that had a couple of differences that really made it stand out from the rest. And because I get approached by dating websites and dating apps every day, all day, I’m really particular about who it is that I endorse.
I was doing some research and I found that
dating.com is a website where it’s not just about romance and finding your soulmate, it’s about connection and it’s about communication.
The cool thing is, is that they actually, personally verify every single profile that comes on there. If you want to be able to have a profile that’s qualified, essentially, you have to pass certain checks. I like this. Because what it means is that, you have to put in the effort here.
You can’t just get on there and just put up a couple of pictures that are crappy or a couple of profile descriptions that don’t really help anything. You literally have to almost pass a certain test within the website in order for them to be able to say, “Yes, you actually are going to bring quality to this website.” And I like that.
dating.com is a website, it’s not an app.
That means that it helps eliminate the swipe culture. We all know where the swipe culture came from, right?
The other thing that I really like about this website is this, is that it also has paid features and unpaid features. So for people who are on a budget and can’t afford to be able to have paid features, you still get access, although you still have to qualify, okay? So it’s not attracting the bad ones out there.
However, if you do want to pay to be on the site and use some of the features, you only pay for what you use. So it does make it more affordable.
I think what men really are saying here is they want some authenticity.
You just need to look on social media and Instagram nowadays, and you can see so many filters. And when you see someone in real life, it’s almost like you have to do a double take. I don’t just mean physically, but also personality as well.
We are a world that is obsessed with building this profile that we think will make us better than someone or more likable or have a higher status.
When in reality, Dating is all about,
- Being real.
- Dating is about being yourself.
- Attracting somebody who likes you for you.
- Who understands that you are grounded, that you are humble.
That even if you do have this profile, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to be someone completely different from that profile as well.
dating.com qualify all your profiles.
Other features includes:
- Encourage video chats,
- live streaming,
- translators – translate for you, just so that you can have an opportunity to try and build a relationship
- and even voice notes
So they offer these different things. And quite honestly, I have not heard of any other dating website that is able to do that those things.
That’s really cool because it gives you an opportunity to be able to talk with someone and get to know them before you even meet them in person.
We all know that texting and stalking each other on social media isn’t really going to give you an idea of that person’s character and intentions.
They do photo sessions, they offer their members tools. I want to use that word. They offer their members tools that actually set them up to be able to have better communication and better connections.
It’s not just based on location, it’s based on actual interests. It’s based on your profile. It’s based on who you are as a person. That to me is old-school stuff. I think the world needs a little bit of old school right now.
Set up a profile. Give it a go. Let me know what you think about it in the comments below.
.I know the guys that are watching this as well, you let me know, do you agree? Are those some of the main reasons why you guys are giving up on dating? And what can we do as women to be able to encourage you to invest more back into dating?
All right, until next time, don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel. Give me a thumbs up, and I will see you guys next time. Bye for now.