Let’s take it to the next level! Are you ready?
I want to give you some clear signals that he is ready for that. And also something that you can do to actually get a direct answer and know if he’s ready.
How do we know when the guy that we’re dating is ready for the next step? How do we know if he wants marriage and children?
Hey everyone. Welcome back to my blog. I’m Renee Slansky. I am a professional dating and relationship coach, and I help women from around the world find and build the relationship that they desire and deserve.
Some people are into casual dating, and that’s totally fine. However, if you’re dating and dating with the intention of getting married and having children because that’s the stage you are in life, then it’s fair enough that you want to have some clarity on whether or not the man is on the same page as you.
So let’s dive into some signs to work out if he does want these things. But before I do that, don’t forget to hit the subscribe button, drop a “thanks, Renee” down below, and give me a big thumbs pop.
1. Understand that men have a financial clock and women have a biological clock.
We, as women, obviously know that we only have a certain amount of time in our life that we can produce enough eggs to be able to have children and when we reach a certain age and we see all our girlfriends getting married and having babies, it kind of stirs something within us.
It’s something that if you’ve always wanted to be a mother, it’s hard to ignore. Not only that, we want to have the security of a loving relationship that is going to last. And for us, that security can come in the form of marriage.
Now for men they don’t think the same way, which is totally okay, this is why we need each other to balance each other out. For men, it’s about the financial clock. And when I say the financial clock, I don’t necessarily mean that he feels he needs to beat a millionaire before he can make those decisions.
However, it’s more about him feeling that he’s reached a certain point in his life where he’s got security, where maybe he understands what his purpose is and he’s living it.
He’s someone that feels that he’s reached the level of status within himself and for everyone else to then be able to focus on the next part of his life, which would be having a spouse and having children.
Men need to have their ducks lined up in a row before they’re usually ready to even think about the next stage of what is going to happen.
And the reason why is because men also crave security as well. They want to know that they are creating a secure environment, that if they were to have children or if they were to have a wife, which whom they feel responsible for that, it would be an environment that doesn’t just crumble. And right now at the time of recording this, we’re obviously going through a global pandemic and there is a lot of confusion.
There is a lot of instability, a lot of job loss. Hence why men have actually pulled back. Maybe they were ready at that stage when you first started dating them because they had that security.
However, because circumstances have shifted that foundation of security, they may have felt like they’ve lost a couple of ducks. And so they’ve actually pulled back and feel they need to get that ready before they can then go and focus on investing in getting married and being present with that and actually having children with you.
2. Look for is who does he hang around?
If a man is an eternal bachelor and he doesn’t want to get married and he doesn’t necessarily want to have children, then chances are, he will be surrounding himself with guys that have a similar mentality or he’ll be more close to people that have a similar mentality.
He may have a couple of mates that have gone and settled down and gotten married and have kids, but he won’t necessarily feel that that’s where he goes out with to be able to have fun. Or if he is, he kind of brushes any conversation off whenever they talk about, hey, maybe you should settle down. So who does he hang around? Because basically, we become productive in our environment.
So if he’s constantly going out and partying and hanging around people that are maybe a lot younger than him, because he feels like he can relate to them more because there’s that level of no commitment there because they are too young to maybe have a committed relationship. Again, this could be an indication that maybe he isn’t ready for marriage and children.
3.How does he respond when he does see other people married and committed, and when he sees little babies in the street?
If you can observe his behavior, when he’s in situations, either at other people’s weddings that you’ve been invited to as guests, maybe he’s got family that’s committed. Maybe he’s got friends that are in marriages and they have kids.
What’s his energy saying. Does he kind of freak out at the idea of holding another person’s baby? Does he feel that he doesn’t want to help out with his nieces and nephews because he’s kind of scared and doesn’t feel that confident in that arena? Is he someone that makes a lot of jokes about other people’s marriages?
Because remember people usually reveal the truth in their jokes.
So when he’s faced with what it is that you want in other people and other scenarios, how does he respond? Because his response will be an indication for where he currently is at.
4.Try and see if he talks about the future.
Does he talk about one day when we have children or one day when I have kids or maybe we can buy a house together next year? Is he talking about the first initial stages of actually really solidifying the relationship and taking it to the next level?
A man who wants to be able to build these things with you, who does want marriage, who does want children will probably be talking about it with you. He will be discussing it with you. Will be hinting about it. And at the moment, really feel comfortable when he’s holding someone else’s kids or when he’s at another wedding. And when people say, oh, you’re next, or you could be the next dad here, he won’t necessarily feel or look uncomfortable when somebody says that. He’ll actually receive it.
Now, before I reveal the last two points, don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel and give me a thumbs up.
The second thing that I want to say is this. If you’re feeling that your relationship is stagnating and it’s not moving forward, I highly suggest that you download my free guide, The Nine Types Of Women That Make Men Run. Because in this guide, I give you a reason why men don’t commit to certain women or certain behaviors within women, and what ultimately makes a man want to commit. Just simply click here.
5. He’ll probably be more emotionally present and more emotionally invested and connected to you in the relationship.
And that’s because he wants to make it work. He sees you as his person. As the mother of these children, the woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He will be thoughtful, he will remember things, he’ll want to go out of his way to actually show that he values and loves you.
Remember ladies that having the next stage of your relationship, if it’s marriage and children, and that’s what you want. It’s not just about that.It’s about having a quality relationship, a quality marriage so that your children grow up with something that actually helps set them up for an amazing life.
We can’t just get so focused on the commitment that we forget about the quality of commitment. And we shouldn’t be trying to force any man into marriage or any man into having a baby. If he doesn’t want it, then maybe you need to reassess whether or not this is the person for you.
Because if you know that this is something that you truly desire and want, and they don’t do, then you’re on different pages here. And you don’t want to spend the rest of your life trying to convince him to be more in love with you and trying to convince him to marry you and convince him to have children.
Some men might have fears about this.
Maybe he has divorced parents, or he has abandonment issues, or he feels that he’ll never be good enough to be a father.
Obviously, men have their own insecurities as well and those things need to be addressed because the last thing that you want to do is have him make this next level of commitment to you out of obligation. I mean, that’s not fair to him and it’s not good for you, and it’s going to be really messy. S
o if he really is ready for the next level, it will be evident in his behavior and the way that you feel.
6. Lastly, ask him
I know crazy, right? But the thing is girls is sometimes we just sit there and we mull over these ideas and then we want to test him and we want to play games and we want to let go, well, I’ll get my friend to ask him and do this and that. I’ll put a baby in his arms and see how he responds.
And you know what? Sometimes you can just skip all that crap by purely, just directly asking him.
Men love when we’re direct about things.
They don’t like it when we assume, and then start accusing. At least you have an answer. Say to him if it’s something along the lines of;
Do you see a future with us? Do you see me as your wife? And don’t be ambiguous? Don’t be like, oh, do you see maybe in 10 to 15 years may be getting married? No, be direct. Say what it is that you feel that you need to say because it’s the only way you’re going to know the actually ease on the same page as you.
Say do you see me as your future wife? Is marriage something that you want to do? Is that something that you would like to do with me? Are you someone that wants to start a family?
Express your desires and needs while also asking what he is so that you could work at again, do we want the same thing here?
Now, if he says that he’s unsure, then you need to work out, well, unsureness, is not really a word. But is his lack of clarity around this because of the relationship that you two are having? Or is it something that he just never really has thought about up until this point? And then you’ve got to see obviously how your relationship goes from that.
You don’t want to feel that you have to wait and wait and wait and wait until you have your answer.
Sometimes it’s purely just bringing it straight to the forefront so that you can know and then do something about it.
All right, girls, I hope that this video has helped you, and let me know if it has by subscribing to my YouTube channel. Until next time, don’t forget to grab my free guide and I’ll see you guys soon. Bye for now.