Cheating is a crime, Loving is a desire.
One of the biggest fears that we have when we finally fall in love with someone, is that they are going to be unfaithful and break our hearts.
And let’s be honest, divorce is on the rise and there are a lot of relationships breaking down because people are cheating.
So how then do we strengthen our relationships, so that we can make sure that our partner isn’t likely to cheat and we can have a marriage or a committed relationship that is fulfilling and goes the distance?
In this blog, I want to give you eight significant ways that you can strengthen your relationship and help prevent your partner from cheating.
I want to actually help you identify how you can start to combat some of those issues that could lead to cheating so that you don’t eventually be hurt later on down the track or have the result of cheating in a relationship. Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel, and hit the share button. Thanks, Renee.
This blog will be going to help you.
I’m Renee. Slansky, I’m a professional dating and relationship coach, and I help women from around the world find and build the relationship that they desire and deserve.
Now, I want to jump straight into it. I know that there are a lot of you ladies out there who either have the fear of being cheated on, or you have been cheated on in the past and you’re worried that it’s going to happen again.
The first thing that I will say is this.
There is no magical formula or magical guarantee that you can stop someone doing something that you don’t want them to do. We can’t control people. All we can do is encourage the right behavior and the right mindset so that cheating doesn’t happen later on down the track.
You have to understand that cheating isn’t necessarily the issue here. It is the result of the underlying issues. People don’t just accidentally cheat. They don’t accidentally do something unless they’re completely narcissistic and a sociopath, but that’s another blog for another time.
But usually, in most circumstances, cheating is the result of the problems that are already existing within that person or the relationship.
Here are 8 ways to prevent cheating in your relationship.
1. You have to do is you need to start building trust.
Now, statistically speaking, the top reason why relationships break down is lack of trust. And lack of trust usually leads to accusations, a breakdown of communication.
Then if someone doesn’t feel trusted, and they don’t feel respected. And we’re wondering what they’re doing and start fabricating things.
Before you know it, it leads to them wanting to cheat or feeling that they’re not valued or prioritize in the relationship.
Trust is one of the fundamentals to keep our relationship really healthy and functional.
So therefore we need to start encouraging trust on a daily basis. So how do we do that?
Building trust in a relationship is something that takes time. It is something that is earned and it isn’t going to happen overnight.
Now, if you’re in a relationship and trust has been broken and you’re wanting to rebuild it, I have done another blog for that.
What I’m saying is that when it comes to building trust, start with the little things.
For instance, if you say something, follow through on those words, even if it’s something as simple as, “I will be home by 6:00 PM.” Then makes sure that you’re home by 6:00 PM, or if you’re not going to be home by 6:00 PM, then at least communicate why, or if you’re running late.
If you say one thing and then do another thing, then you’re not going to help to build trust in your relationship. There’s going to be incongruency.
And it isn’t going to give that person confidence that you’re not going to cheat or that who you are is who you say you are. And what you do is what you are going to do.
Now, if you’re wanting to build trust in a way where you want your partner to build more trust with you because you’re not sure if you can trust them, then the best thing to do is your focus on building trust first to encourage trust from them and to almost have them mirror it back to us.
What we tend to do in relationships is, when we come to problems, we kind of point the finger at the other person, “Oh, they cheated because of this or this happened because they were doing this, this and this wrong.”
And it’s like, we’re trying to fix them and change them, especially if we’re a woman, right? And it doesn’t help the situation.
So instead of going, “Well, they need to improve their trust.” You can’t control that. All you can do is encourage trust.
The best way to do that is by you embodying trust yourself, and putting that into action on a daily basis.
2. Don’t ever stop trying to win each other over.
When you first date somebody you’re all in this honeymoon phase, because you’re both making a really big effort to communicate that you value that person and that you are falling in love with them.
You make them feel special. You try to go out of your way to prioritize them. Make an effort with your appearance. You’re doing all those little things that make them desire you even more. Well, we should never stop doing that.
Husbands, don’t ever stop dating your wives. Wives, don’t ever stop dating your husbands.
This is about understanding that in the initial stages of dating, where we are building trust, where we are earning each other’s love and approval and respect and winning each other over, why would we stop doing that just because we get into a committed part of a relationship?
If you are feeling constantly like a priority and that you are loved, through actions by your partner, then you’re less likely to wonder about what it’s going to be like with somebody else and vice versa.
If your partner feels like they feel loved, they feel valued, they feel prioritized, they feel respected, they feel honored because you’re constantly communicating that to them, then they’re going to probably feel incredibly fulfilled in that relationship.
So they’re not going to be thinking about trying to start one with somebody else.
3. Encourage honoring.
Now I will say this, honoring is something that we don’t talk a lot about it. We don’t necessarily use that word. We use more of the word of value and respect.
Honoring is fundamental to a relationship functioning in a way where both people feel fulfilled, and it is healthy and peaceful and full of progress.
Now honoring is something where the Latin word actually for honoring when it’s translated means about bringing value, it’s got weight to it. Okay? It’s like almost we honor this because it has value. It has weight to it.
And therefore we need to recognize it. Okay? This is what you need to do in your relationships. I think that a lot of relationships break down, and a reason why a lot of men go and cheat for me personally and statistically speaking is that they don’t feel honored or respected by the woman that they’re with any longer.
Now I’m not saying that you have to stroke his ego.
Honoring someone is not about stroking their ego or disempowering yourself.
Honoring someone is actually communicating that you value them openly, verbally, and through your actions as well.
Now, the little ways that you can honor your husband or have your husband on you or whatever relationship that you’re in, is simply by actually speaking words of honor over them. “I’m so glad that you’re home or thank you for doing this.” Just little affirmative statements show that you recognize who they are and what they’re doing and that matters to you.
4. Of course, prioritize regular sex and intimacy.
And I will say this, there is a difference between sex and intimacy. You can have intimacy in a relationship without lots of sex, and you can have lots of sex in a relationship without much intimacy.
The key is, is that you need both and both can actually work together to encourage one another. So regular sex is different for everyone.
Some people think regular sex is once a week. Some people think it is two or three times a week. It really depends, obviously, on your schedule, on outside influences, things that are going on.
Don’t go and start comparing how often you should have sex, as opposed to how often other people are having sex.
Know that as long as you are having sex frequently, to a point where you feel that you are connecting with each other and bonding with each other enough so that there aren’t all these cracks starting to show.
Now, there is obviously a big reason why people cheat in relationships. And one of those big reasons is that they aren’t feeling sexually fulfilled in that relationship.
It doesn’t go and excuse their behavior for going and sleeping with someone else. However, it is understandable.
Ladies, you need to understand that because men carry more testosterone within them, they do have a tendency to think and want and have a higher sex drive. Okay? So it’s not about feeling that you have to turn on your sex drive into overdrive in order to fulfill his needs so that you can keep him. That isn’t healthy.
You shouldn’t have to feel that you have to become this sex robot in order to be able to keep your man.
There needs to be some sort of balance. What you need to understand is the importance of sex behind it, and the importance behind it is that it actually creates a chemical bond between both of you spiritually as well as physically.
It then increases the intimacy between you two, because you feel that you are on a level where you have been obviously quite vulnerable in front of each other. You’ve been intimate with each other, chemically speaking.
Again, you’re more on the same wavelength. So it actually makes you feel closer to that person as well.
Sex isn’t always going to be convenient, especially if you have children or you’re tired or you’re sick, or you have a busy lifestyle, but we still have to prioritize it even when we don’t necessarily feel like doing it. If you want to build a strong relationship, I would tell you right now, you’ve got to stop doing stuff when you feel like it, and you have to start committing to actions that are going to encourage a healthy relationship.
5. Communicate before all these issues happen, even if it is hard.
Even if you’re worried about their reactions. What we do nowadays is, especially us women, we kind of leave it and leave it and leave it.
Especially if we have a fear of being cheated on, because it’s almost like we don’t want to address the issue in case it is the truth.
We hope that he can read our mind and he knows what we’re feeling. And then everything kind of just explodes, or the problem happens and we realized that “Hang on a second, maybe if we talked about it a few weeks earlier on, we wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.”
We get scared to talk about stuff because we’re scared that if we do that we won’t get the reaction that we want, that we will drive that person away. Or it will actually confirm our fear that we have.
Communication isn’t easy, and great communication is the key to building a great, secure, and faithful relationship.
But it’s something that you’ve got to do, even if you are worried about their reaction or worried about what is going on, and even if it’s not convenient.
It isn’t fun to talk about the crappy stuff because men respond differently to situations and issues as do women.
Men don’t talk about things as much as women. So trying to talk about a major issue, if he doesn’t use as many words or if he doesn’t express emotions the same way we do, will make communication a lot more difficult.
The key to strong communication here is not necessarily talking to him to get the response that you want, but talking to him so that you can express what it is that you feel and at least address what is going on.
Now, this might take a couple of conversations. This might take a couple of weeks to slowly talk about it.
Either way, as soon as you start to see the warning signs, whether you’ve got doubts that maybe he’s hanging out with other females or texting women on social media or guys if you’re with a woman and you’re worried that she’s going to start flirting with a guy, whatever it is.
As soon as you’re starting to feel the drift between you both, which is usually the first warning signs that there could be potential issues going on, talk about it, address it, and head-on.
6. Start to identify the warning signs or the threats out there so that you can address them straight away.
What we do is sometimes we’re just not aware of what could trigger cheating.
Remember cheating isn’t something that just happens because someone wants to go out and cheat, or there are people out there like that, but I’m not necessarily addressing that in this blog.
Cheating is usually a byproduct of temptation.
So we need to actually identify what is tempting this person to cheat. Now, little things like this. And if you notice that they are on social media all the time, and they’re constantly liking sexual photographs then that need to be addressed.
And I have done another video for that later in my channel, which you can check out. Or if they are building a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex where they say, “No, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s a friendship.” And it may appear okay now, but it still isn’t necessary. And it definitely isn’t going to build that trust and that respect in your relationship then you need to address it straight away.
Other things could be like the fact that you’re not having a lot of sex or a lot of intimacy, maybe they’re working super long hours so you don’t necessarily feel prioritized or they feel neglected.
Neglect is usually another big reason why people go and cheat because they no longer feel that they are valued by the person that they’re with.
So they go and seek attention and appreciation elsewhere.
So if you feel like there are a couple of factors going on, identify them and address them straight away so they don’t lead to cheating.
Now if this is really helping you please subscribe to my Youtube Channel and let me know down below by dropping a thanks, Renee.
And ladies, if you are someone that is basically needing some help with your love life, knowing how to thrive, knowing how to be able to just do daily stuff sometimes, then I invite you to join my free Facebook group called Worth The Wait.
In this free Facebook group, I give daily advice. I do love lessons every single week, and it’s a community full of incredible women who are all on the same journey. Click this if you want to join.
7. Focus on their love language.
Now, if you haven’t read the five love languages, I highly suggest that you stop and you go and order the book, or you even go on the internet and readjust the synopsis of what the five love languages are.
Basically, there are five ways in which we give and receive love. If you know what your partner’s love language is, whether it’s acts of service, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, then it gives you an opportunity to be able to feed that, so they feel loved with you and therefore they don’t want to seek love or attention anywhere else.
Now, the thing is with cheating is, cheating isn’t necessarily about being with someone because you’re in love with them.
Cheating usually starts with either seeking attention elsewhere, getting validation from someone else, or being infatuated with someone else.
It doesn’t always start off with they fell in love with someone else. And the tips that I’m giving you in this blog are really tips to also encourage your partner to fall more deeply in love with you because communication is strong because you are honoring them because you are having regular sex.
Cheating isn’t something that you can necessarily predict or control.
But what you can do is you can encourage factors that counteract cheating, and that is of course falling more in love with each other and feeding their love language.
So work out what their love language is, and then start feeding that.
I guarantee you that you will see them being drawn closer to you and desiring you more because they feel like when they’re with you, they have that sense of being loved and valued, because of what you do and who you are.
8. Take some time away together and break the familiarity and routine.
What happens is, when relationships get stuck in a rut where we just go around in circles, it’s Groundhog day, we’ve got the kids, we’ve got the work, whatever routine going on, blah, blah, blah, we lose the spontaneity, we lose the romance, and we lose sight of just putting time aside to focus on that person that you really love.
Even if you don’t have kids, you can still fall into a routine. So it’s important to be able to prioritize time away, to actually focus just on each other, and focus on that intimacy.
Now, the reason why I say time away because, just having a date night at home, or just spending some time at home on the couch together, you’re still in that familiar environment.
What you want to do is you want to get yourself out of that familiar environment, whether it’s a little weekend away or going to the beach or doing something in a completely different environment, so that you can actually be on this neutral ground together, and have a different experience together. And again, break that routine and increase some spontaneity.
Well, there you go, guys and girls.
I really hope that this blog has blessed you. I hope and I pray that your relationship does remain faithful, and know that if it doesn’t, that cheating doesn’t necessarily have to be the identity of the relationship.
Now, what I suggest is, check out my other blogs.
Like I said;
When it comes to building trust in a relationship if you have had unfaithfulness, and of course joining my Facebook group for you ladies, if you’re wanting some extra free advice from me.
Until next time, know that you are all worthy, beautiful, and lovable and I will see you very soon.