What does Emotional Cheating look like? #askRenee


Your Question:  

Hi Renee ,

I have heard this term thrown quite a lot and I think maybe it even applies to what my partner might be doing right now , whilst I know he isn’t being physical with any of the girls he is friends with , I just can’t help but feel like he shouldn’t be talking to them so much ! I’m trying not to be irrational , and I do trust him but I don’t think he sees his actions as wrong… what exactly does emotional cheating look like and what should I do?

My Answer

When we think of someone cheating, we instantly think of a physical type of infidelity. It’s not hard to let our imaginations run wild with images of illicit kisses and steamy bodies closely followed by broken vases, hearts and tears!

However what we forget is that cheating with someone usually starts long before the physical act takes place. Most of the time, before we make a conscious decision to do something (because yes cheating is a conscious decision) we are mentally thinking and focusing about it.

Therefore the act of cheating starts not with the first kiss but the first thought.

The problem however with ‘emotional cheating’ is because it hasn’t manifested into the physical, we are either unaware of what it actually looks like and can dismiss the severity of it.

Here are a just a few examples of what emotional cheating can look like or where it can start:

  • A close friendship with the opposite sex whereby oversharing and intimate conversations which should only be between are a couple are had.
  • Pornography, whether it be hard of soft, looking at inappropriate images is always damaging to a relationship.
  • Social media friendships and accounts; when your partner is following someone of the opposite sex on Instagram or Facebook who sexualises their posts and is somewhat infatuated with them.
  • Talking constantly about a friend or worker or person of the opposite sex

It’s not hard to see that when you or your partner start to think or talk with someone on an intimate level other than each other, you are disabling the unity and sacredness of your relationship.

What we meditate on, we manifest into our lives, and what may seem like a harmless thought or conversation now, can lead to disaster later on down the track if not kept in check!

Great relationships take a consistent and conscious amount of effort, you have to be aware of every thought and action that you both have individually to be able to create a healthy and strong couple.

My advice would be to chat to you man about how you feel , it’s not about questioning your trust in him but rather giving him a new perspective on how it looks from your end and why it can be dangerous.

Don’t be scared to set the boundaries in your relationship and be the one to bring issues up, if nothing is talked about you can be guaranteed it will simmer and explode into bigger problems.

Image courtesy of sakhorn38 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

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