What does it mean when you had a really good first date? Like nothing went crazy here and the guy ghosts you straight after the first date?
I’m going to give you three things it means and three things you need to do if this will happen. Check out this blog for those who don’t know what’s ghosting or those not sure if they’ve experienced it.
Ghosting is basically somebody who disappears on you. They have a date with you. They’re talking to you. You feel like everything’s pretty normal. And all of a sudden, they’ve just vanished into thin air.
It’s really upsetting when you’re dating or talking to someone for quite some time and they ghost you. However, what does it actually mean if you go on a first date and never hear from them ever again?
Whilst it may not be as bad as being in a relationship with someone and having them ghost you. It’s still upsetting to know that the person you dated didn’t take the time or have the courtesy to explain why they didn’t want to speak to you again.
1.You got ghosted because go where he’s at
Basically, ghosting is something that often has more to do with the person that is ghosting you rather than the person that has been ghosted.
If you’ve had a great first date and you feel like everything was pretty normal and then you never hear from him.
When you reach out to him and try to get messages but you’re blocked and you basically get zero response.
Then chances are he’s just not ready. Either he realized that you’re not the girl for him or he’s just not emotionally ready to be able to invest further into the relationship.
Either way, you have your answer about where he is at with you and his emotions. And that should be confirmation enough to know that he’s not worth any more investment and thought time.
2. You got ghosted because of YOU
Just because you have thought that it’s a great date doesn’t necessarily mean that he thought it was a great date.
Being ghosted is an opportunity to basically sit back and reflect on what role you played in the process. It doesn’t mean that you go into victim mode and it doesn’t mean that there’s something horribly wrong with you, or that you’re broken.
Any sort of rejection that we get in the process of dating and just life, in general, is an opportunity to learn more about why that happened and what we can do to help prevent it happen further on down the track.
Maybe there were a couple of things that you weren’t aware that you were doing that actually self-sabotaged the date that you had, hence why he didn’t want to see you again.
Being ghosted is not acceptable behaviour
Just because you did something that was out of line whether it was something totally crazy or something minor, it doesn’t excuse someone’s behavior of just completely ignoring you and disappearing on you.
I personally don’t think that there’s any reason why someone can’t just send a text and say, “Hey, it was nice to meet you, but I just don’t think we’re on the same page.”
However, we have become a society that is lazy with communication and we always want to take the easy route out, which for a lot of people means just cutting all contact and not even giving any explanation at all.
3. You got ghosted because of Circumstances
Often in relationships, if something goes awry or somebody pulls back, it’s either them, you, or the circumstances. Maybe something happened and they realized it was a major family drama or something else that became their main priority. They’ve completely put all their energy into that instead of following up with you after the first date.
In most cases, it isn’t circumstances because if it was circumstances. They’d probably still be able to find time to be able to message you and say, “Hey, sorry, I haven’t been in contact. I just don’t think it’s the right time.” People may use circumstances as an excuse why they haven’t reached out to you. Then they feel like it’s been too much time.
What’s the point in reaching out to you anyway, and they can stop to reflect that you’re not the right person for them, or they’re not ready for a relationship.
However, in very few cases it can actually be circumstances as well. So what is it that you need to do? Well, there are three things that you need to take away from this experience.
If you have been ghosted constantly like you find that this is a recurring sort of pattern happening in your dating life, then there’s a reason why that is happening.
You’re either dating the wrong person or you’re doing the wrong thing.
What I’ve done is I’ve actually put together a free training or free masterclass for you girls out there called Why Love Sucks for You.
This is for any woman who feels that you’re going round and round in circles and you don’t really know why. You’re stuck. Okay? You feel like you’re putting in effort into your love life. You’re trying, but you’re having the same battles come up over and over again.
This training masterclass is unlike any other one that I’ve done before.
What do you need to do if you do get ghosted after the first date?
1. Remember that dating is a process to get to know somebody’s character
If you can realize that the first date doesn’t necessarily indicate that you are going to know everything about that person, it helps relieve the pressure and place a more realistic expectation on that first date.
What we can tend to do is we can get really excited about going on a date with someone, especially if you’ve met on a dating app, you’ve had a couple of conversations, and then finally the moments are right to meet face-to-face.
There are some butterflies there.
Maybe there’s some chemistry and we wanted to work out. Okay? We don’t go on dates because we don’t want it to work out.
We go on dates because we want it to work out and we’re hoping that it eventually leads to love.
However, you literally know this much about someone from a first date and you need to remember that getting to know someone’s character is something that’s going to happen over time.
If they’ve decided to actually ghost you on the first date, then the truth is you’ve gotten to know enough about who they are and where they’re at to decide that they are no longer worth your investment.
There’s absolutely no point in trying to get answers from them or try and dig up more about who they are.
Somebody ghosting you after a first date and not even having the courtesy to be able to text you and say, “Hey, I don’t want to see you again” should be an indication enough they are not the right person for you and that you need to just move on.
2. You need to make sure that you don’t go searching for answers
The reason why ghosting is so unnerving and makes us anxious is it’s because it feels like we don’t have the closure that we deserve or that we want for why that person just literally disappears on us.
It’s like, “Come on. How hard is it to just say, ‘Hey, I don’t want to see you again.’ Is it something that I did? Are you not ready? Just give me some access.”
As humans, we crave certainty because certainty gives us some sort of sense of control and direction.
However, in this instance, you already have the certain outcome of this person that you were dating.
That is not meant to be. Therefore, your closure is in the act of what they had done, not necessarily in the answers that you seek of why they have done it in the first place.
3. Speaking all the closure
This is an opportunity to just close the chapter on that date and that person and be able to move forward. Don’t go and keep talking about it in conversations. “Oh, that guy kept ghosting me or that guy ghosted me after the first date.”
Every time you keep focused on it because maybe you still feel you don’t have closure, you’re still confused about it. You are magnifying that incident and therefore you’re blocking other opportunities from coming into your love life.
The closure is a choice. You need to be able to just decide, “Okay, I know enough to be able to know that this person is no longer worth my mental, emotional investment.
Not worth my time. Therefore I am going to choose to move forward. I’ll choose not to speak about it. I’m going to choose to not focus on it.”
I’ll choose to put my energy into things that can help you avoid being ghosted later on. Whether that is love education like watching one of my training.
It’s working on some of the things within yourself to become a more datable woman. I’ve got a guide on that down below as well or whether it is just being able to identify which man actually is ready and emotionally available.
Conclusion about getting ghosted after the first date
Either way, we always have a choice whenever we have an incident like this happen in our life. If you’ll choose to put your energy into building new rather than trying to resurrect the dead from the old.
Then, you’re going to have a much better opportunity and a much better outcome if you’re putting your energy into something more positive.
I hope that it gave you peace and answers to why you were ghosted on the first date. Unfortunately, it is really common.
Statistically speaking, men actually get ghosted more than women. Let’s not just blow things out of proportion. Either way, it sucks.
I’ve done a video on what to do if a ghost comes back into your life and wants to reconnect.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my youtube channel. Check out all of my free training, especially that brand new masterclass.