This week I had the chance to talk to a few people regarding their intimate relationships and in so, I had an epiphany. One that is so common sense but still the reason why so many relationships END or even worse, continue down an agonizing path.
How often do you check in with your significant other about what you both need from each other? If you do, are the ways you are communicating both effective and productive? Do you find yourself going into these types of discussions having the best intentions of being calm and loving to your partner, but in a moments time, both of you are bringing out your “swords?”
What I find about relationships that can’t get their act together usually begins with the style in which they both communicate. What I mean by this is we all have our own styles and the goal is not to become the same person in order to communicate, but to communicate in a way that all hearts can understand.
And lucky you, I have the secret!
- Here it is…First, PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN!!! Un-arm yourself COMPLETELY before you go into having a discussion. I don’t care what type of discussion you both have. How can you truly get into a “heart to heart” when both of you are preparing for battle? In no way can you reach each other’s hearts if you are thinking about the next thing you are going to come back with as well as defend your intentions, thoughts and actions to the end. Get over yourself! What I mean is, get your “ego” out of the WAY! In the end what you have to defend is not nearly as important as what you may be losing. Especially should it be your soul mate.
- Secondly, if you are the type of person who thinks you are going to avoid any potential arguments or pain by NOT communicating at all, you are creating the perfect recipe for COMPLETE disaster! You can’t possibly see the full potential of a relationship if you shut your significant other out, or worse of all, shut YOURSELF out, because that is what you are doing when you don’t communicate things you want or hear your significant partner tell you how to be successful with them. Beyond that, I see many partners building major resistant to each other because they hold back what is truly important to them.
- Lastly, stop with the drama! For real, unless you are an actor/actress, on Broadway, or auditioning for a bad soap opera, there is absolutely NO need to bring the dramatics into your relationship. There should be no throwing of inanimate objects, name calling, door slamming, floor sobbing, or even worse threats of hurting ones self. Just stop! For the sake of all that’s good in this world. You will go nowhere in your relationship doing this.
Remember the goal is to practice being in a place where you both are communicating in a way that is going to give the best results.
Love to you!
Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and BREATHES her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life WITHOUT mastering the art of relationships! Coming from the hospitality industry, Christal always loved being able to service people and finding ways to cater to each guests individualistic need…. with that said, she wanted to do more than catering to guests spending MILLIONS of dollars in the casino! … SO she QUIT and followed her curiosity of the coaching world and what she found was truly amazing!