Fear of a partner abandoning you can be something tough to handle.
It can be heartbreaking, and it is also a very real fear.
If someone has dumped you, then you know the pain that comes with that. Often times, it can keep us from making the most of the relationship that we are in and can hurt the possibility of making it a truly fulfilling relationship.
However, it doesn’t have to be this way. There are a number of reasons for this, but the main one is that we let fear govern our actions.
This is especially true in new relationships where we don’t entirely trust the person we are with.
This holds us back from being able to talk about what we are looking for and what we want.
The first step to getting over a fear of abandonment is to make sure that the person you are with is, in fact, a good person.
If they are, then it is more likely than not that they won’t simply abandon you.
Here are some things that can help you see if your partner is committed and help relive the fear of being dumped or abandoned by your partner.
Deciding if your partner is worth the risk
Before you put yourself out there, take the time to see if the person you are with is someone you actually want to be with. The first thing you should do is get to know them. Now, this doesn’t mean just spending a lot of time with them.
Find out who they are as an individual. What are their values and principles? What is it that makes them happy.
Also, make sure that their actions line up with what they are saying. If they don’t, then this is a huge red flag.
If commitment is essential to them, then you know you have found the right one. One great way to do this is by simply asking them. In short, be honest.
Honesty is the best policy
Be honest about your desires and also your fears. There is no reason to hold back because that can really only breed resentment. Honesty is a cornerstone of all successful relationships. This is because with honesty comes trust.
Make it a point to be straight forward with your fear of being abandoned. In society, this kind of honesty is shamed and seen as a weakness.
However, it should be seen as a sign of bravery and strength. In return, your partner will respect what you have to say and will return the favor.
This also helps clear things up because it keeps there from being any mixed signals or miscommunications.
It also saves time because if what you want doesn’t align with what they want, then you both can move on.
However, I would like to say that this is the more unlikely ending. Honest conversations bring people closer together because you have both shared something intimate and not for everyone to know about.
The main takeaway should be that if you have a fear of being abandoned or dumped and you arent sure whether you should speak up or quite then speak up.
Trust me when I say nothing good comes from hiding your fears from someone that should care about you.
As with learning, to be honest, there is also a process of learning to trust. As with any relationship, there will be unknowns and uncertainties. There is really no way around it. It’s merely something that exists.
The best thing to do is to come to the realization that they exist and nothing we do can change that because no one can tell the future.
A lot of times trusting someone, especially someone you are in a new relationship with is hard. It takes a little bit of a leap of faith. However, your intuition should be able to tell you if someone can be trusted or not.
If I could offer one bit of advice, it is that if nothing is ventured, nothing is gained. Don’t be afraid to roll the dice a little. It may not be fun if it doesn’t work out, but if it does, it will be more than worth the risk.
Nothing worth having is easy
Whether its a career, a relationship, or really anything you want. It won’t be easy getting it if it is worth it. If finding your soulmate was easy, then no one would be single.
It probably comes as no surprise that this is difficult. This means that you, as an individual, may have to take some risk and really put yourself out there to find what you are looking for.
In reality, the love of your life will not come to your door, knock, and ask you out on a date. Not only is this impossible, but it is also creepy. So take some risks and find someone that you are attracted to and also interested in them. Find out if they are the right person and then build trust.
Do this because the alternative is not any better because, in essence, if you don’t put yourself out there and allow your fear of being abandoned to control you, you are missing out on all the beautiful things that life and love can bring.
In the end, don’t let your relationships be ruled by fear. Even though throwing caution to the wind may seem like to wrong thing to do, do it anyway. If you do the things that I talked about earlier in this post, then you will find there really isn’t anything to be afraid of.
Yes, love has its peaks and valley but so does life in general. Do not put too much emphasis on the negative aspects of relationships and instead realize that it has so much more to offer than it can take.
If you keep perspective and follow your intuition, you will find that fulfilling and committed relationship.