How do I know if we’re exclusive?
So the big question. You’re dating a guy and you want to know if you are exclusive. You want to know if you’re only seeing each other, this is going somewhere, and basically, it’s going to get momentum.
How do you know that without necessarily asking him directly, Hey, am I your girlfriend?
Well, in this blog, I’m going to tell you exactly how. We’re going to talk about exclusivity. It’s something that we usually think, back in the day when we were in high school, it was so much easier.
It’s like, “Will you go out with me?” “Yes, I’ll go out with you” but then you never go
anywhere. Maybe to the movies. But it’s really simple and clear that you’re only dating that person. You hold each other’s hands at school. You sit next to each other at school. And everyone knows, okay, they’re together.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to my blog. I’m Renee Slansky. I am a professional dating and relationship coach and I help women from around the world date smart, love successfully, break toxic cycles, and set themselves up to have an unapologetic love life.
Well, welcome to adulthood. It’s way more complicated than that, unnecessarily so. So I’m going to give you some points on how to tell if you are exclusive. But before I do that, don’t forget to subscribe and give me a Thanks on my YouTube Channel.
1. He introduces you to his close community
This pretty much means his friends that are the main people in his life. Not necessarily his work colleagues or the people that he only is associated with. I mean his actual mates or his family.
When you meet them, they’re not necessarily surprised to find out who you are, or they don’t go and confuse your name with another girl’s name.
They are aware of who you are because obviously he’s been talking about you to them.
Somebody who is actually wanting to build something with you and invest in you will bring you into his circle to make you a part of his world.
2. He gets off the apps
We’ve all done it, where we start dating someone and we
think, “Okay, I know that we’ve seen each other for a couple of months now. I’m just going to go back on the app and see if he’s still on Tinder”.
Now, if you do go back on the app, it always poses the risk that maybe he’s also done the same to check if you’re on the apps and then it can all get a little bit awkward.
So before you go and stalk, I think the best thing is always to be upfront and ask.
It keeps things really transparent and clear and it shows that you’re not snooping behind his back.
However, that’s easier said than done.
So if you do go on the apps and you see that he’s deactivated his profile, chances are it’s
because he actually is really invested in just being with you and he doesn’t want to date anybody else.
3. He uses words like we and our, and it becomes really inclusive conversation and inclusive behavior.
For example, if you’re in the car with him and you driving somewhere and his mates call and they said, “Hey, bro, what are you doing this weekend?” and he says, “Oh, we haven’t decided yet. We might go to the beach.
That shows that he’s no longer thinking of just himself. He's actually thinking of
you and him as a couple and that you’re making decisions together.
Then he’ll actually include you in those decisions. He will ask your opinion. Because he realizes that he doesn’t want to be doing all these fun things or whatever it is that concerns him without actually consulting you or doing it with you.
This brings me to the next point.
4. He actually plans ahead with you.
I think that if a guy really wants to be with you, then what he does, and this is what my best friend told me years ago when I was going through all my years of heartache and I was chasing men and I was trying to get them to just give me the basics.
She said to me, “Renee, a man that wants to be with you will be a man that actually books you up.
He’ll say to you, “What are you doing this weekend? Let’s do something. What are you doing next weekend? I want to take you out for dinner here. Let’s go to the beach here”.
Somebody who actually plans you into his life.
Also prioritizes you because he likes you, or he’s falling in love with you, and he wants to spend that time with you. And he is invested in you so much that he does these micro-commitments early on.
It is so true because when I finally met my future husband, he was doing that right from the first couple of dates.
I wasn’t sitting there wondering, “When am I going to see him on the weekend” or trying to pretend that “I’m okay with not seeing you” when really I was hoping that I would, like my other relationships. He just booked me up.
Somebody who wants to be exclusive with you will make it really obvious because you won’t be left wondering when you’re going to see them next.
5. If you’re on the same page
You can say to him, “So, are you seeing somebody else?” Or, “Is this
going to be a date as just a first date, or am I officially your girlfriend now?”
Using humor and banter in a way to kind of see how he responds will give you an indication of where he’s at.
I remember I had an ex. I asked him, “Am I your girlfriend?” Literally. And he couldn’t give me a straight answer.
And I guess, at the time, he wasn’t really committed to me and the idea of having a label scared him, which was just an indication that that relationship was never going to go anywhere.
By testing it a little bit, by putting it out there, asking, using humor when you ask, will give you a good indication if he actually is thinking the same way as you.
6. He actually says, “This is my girlfriend”
Like “This is Renee. She’s my girlfriend. This is Janine. She’s my girlfriend”.
There’s something really special when he introduces you as his girlfriend. Or if he introduces you, for example, “This is Renee” and his friends or his family say
something and they refer to you as his girlfriend and he doesn’t deny it, that’s also a really good thing.
If he doesn’t deny it and then on top of that, he doesn’t look uncomfortable and change subject, then it shows that he’s actually thinking of you that way as well.
Remember, ladies, that you shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells in order to know if the man is on the same page as you and wants the same commitment as you.
If this is something that you really struggle with, like you kind of get to one stage and then it all kind of falls apart, or he’s not committed and he’s not emotionally available, you should download my free guide. The 9 Types Of Women That Make Men Run.
This will give you an indication of certain things that we can do as women to actually
It’ll give you an idea of what men ultimately desire in order to be able to invest in a woman and commit.
All right, girls, hope that this blog cleared some things up for you. Let me know down below if you think you are exclusive and tell everyone your story to be able to encourage them. Drop a Thanks, Renee, if this blog has helped you. Give me a thumbs up. Don’t forget to subscribe on my YouTube Channel and I will see you all next time. Bye for now.