Ok before you start to scoff and throw sandwiches at your computer screen and yell “tell her she’s dreamin’” , hear me out! In no way does the above statement mean I am unrealistic, airy fairy head in the clouds twit, it actually means I am taking ownership of my attitude about my future. It’s easy to become complacent in our approach because we have been heart broken or disappointed too many times, or we just start to lose hope of ever having that feminine desire in our heart filled. We start to base our expectations of relationships either off our own experiences or the people around us instead of focusing on the truth and addressing our outlook. Yes relationships look quite different now days, with second marriages, children, role reversals and everything else in between, but circumstances and time should never change the foundations of a union or your heart’s desire to be with someone worthy of you.
All the Single Ladies
Just because you are single and wanting to be in a relationship, this does not make you desperate and dateless! There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with a man and practically pursing that desire e.g.: going on dating websites, blind dates etc. Needless to say it can become a bit of a battle trying to find a compatible man who you also have chemistry with (and don’t want to strangle or fall asleep on in the first 5 mins) but that’s just part of the process! Just because you have not found someone to your heart’s content does not mean he doesn’t exist or that you aren’t able to have your happy beginning! These things take time and never for a moment should you give up or settle for second best because you think you are running out of time or just can’t be bothered waiting anymore. Girl you’re gonna be spending a lifetime with this man, choose a good egg!
So all of your friends are with someone and getting married and having babies, well great! This does not in any way reflect on your own success or failure of finding a man, in fact other peoples relationships have nothing to do with your own! Relax and learn to control your emotions and mind so that you can enjoy the season where you are at, you will get your chance to change poo filled nappies and scream at mother in-laws all in good time. A marriage isn’t just about a wedding; it’s about a lifetime commitment that takes a lot of consistent hard work and unconditional love.
Don’t give up! Have your melt down, cry it out but then pick yourself back up and keep pursing your dreams. Yes you have to be realistic and practical, and the relationship you have with yourself is ultimately what will dictate the pace of everything. Be a whole person, love yourself unconditionally, and surround yourself with friends and family who are going to speak life into you, not laugh or berate you for having a dream of being happy with a man. Your Prince Charming might not come riding in on a white horse, you may actually have to meet him halfway at the local pub, either way he does exist and in time you’ll get to meet him.
Let’s be Real
It’s ok to want a man, it’s ok to have a dream and a list and a mental picture, it does not make you unrealistic, it means you are a woman who knows what you want! Just don’t make this “happily ever after” dream the centre of your world. Pursue your other goals, build your career, invest in your friendships, do things for yourself and get busy with loving every season of your life. Yours is the greatest love story yet to be told, so don’t give up.