Is my marriage over?
What does it mean when your husband says he loves you, but he’s not in love with you?
In this week’s episode of ask Renee, I’ll be answering that question right now.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to my channel. I’m Renee Slansky. I am a professional dating and relationship coach. And I help women from around the world, create the love life they desire and deserve.
Now on Tuesdays, what I like to do is my ask Renee sessions. And this is where you guys email me, message me on Instagram, or Facebook, or just comment on my channel, asking me a specific question.
Now, one of the questions I got was from a follower who emailed me, asking me, help me out, Renee.
Basically, my husband says that he loves me, but he’s no longer in love with me. And what does that mean specifically?
Well, it’s something that we all dread hearing from anybody that we’re in a relationship with.
However, do not despair. What he means by this is that he is still committed to what love requires as in, he respects you, he probably still wants to honor you. He likes you. He doesn’t have animosity towards you.
However, the desire has actually left him.
When we think about love and we think of being in love. They’re actually two completely different things.
You can love a friend, but you’re not necessarily in love with a friend.
Now, I personally believe in marriage, you need to have both types of love.
You need to have the love that is chemistry and fire and desire, and you just go crazy for that person.
And you also need the other part of love, which is friendship, respect, and honor.
But what we need to do in this situation is we need to work out first, why your husband has actually pulled back on the desired front, what has led to this situation and how to ignite it again?
The truth is in marriage, you fall in and out of love with your spouse all the time.
And staying in love with somebody is actually quite hard.
Falling in love with someone is really easy, but staying in love requires consistent work.
Now, it doesn’t necessarily have to be hard work. However, you do have to be aware of what you’re doing on a daily basis to make sure you’re feeding that desire so that you both don’t fall out of love.
At the end of the day, what is really important to be able to keep a marriage solid and alive, not falling apart is choosing love.
Choosing love means that you choose to do what you vowed to do when you married that person, regardless of how you feel.
I choose to commit to you. I choose to honor you. I choose to respect you. I may not like you at the moment. I may not feel strong feelings towards you.
However, I still choose to be a husband to you, or I still choose to be a wife to you.
Because we’re all going to go through seasons in every type of relationship that we have.
Obviously, in your situation or in whoever situation that is watching this, where you think, “Crap that’s me. My husband is no longer in love with me, how do I start that again?” I have a program called The Man Magnet and The Man Magnet is basically understanding how men work on a psychological level and what actually ignites that desire in him to want to continue to win you over and pursue you and romance you all over again. Here’s the link for that down click here so that you can check it out.
Having somebody fall in love with you again isn’t impossible. It does take time.
What you need to do is work out why he felt like he’s fallen out of love with you in the first place, simply by asking him, okay, it’s a tough question.
You may not want to hear the answer, but you’ve got to start somewhere. And when you ask him that question, listen, listen to what he’s saying.
Don’t try and change his mind right then and there, don’t try and justify, just listen to what he has to say and learn why he’s in this position.
Is it because he feels neglected? Is it because he’s unsatisfied with himself? So therefore he doesn’t feel satisfied in his relationships. Does he feel like you guys have just turned into flatmates and you’re not having enough intimacy?
When we come to battles like this in our marriage, it’s easy to get on the defensive. It’s easy to start accusing one another and going into that anger and grieving mode.
However, if you want to be able to move past this, you need to learn why it happened in the first place, ask him why he’s fallen out of love, and that will help direct you on what you need to do to help him fall back in love with you and that will be a process.
It will be a process of learning to trust each other again. It’ll be a process of learning to romance each other again. And if you want to make sure that it stays consistent, you have to make sure that you’re doing something every single day to be able to win each other over.
Well, that’s my answer to this week’s question. If you want to know more about my Man Magnet course, the link is here. This course originally was for women who basically struggled with getting a man to commit.
However, I’ve had so many women come through and do this course like literally hundreds of women come through and do this course because they feel like their husband’s drifting or their boyfriend’s drifting, or he’s no longer in love with you and this course is essentially a really digestible and easy and super affordable way to understand more about men.
To know what makes men tick and to be able to put it into place so that you can have a thriving, loving marriage again.
All right, guys, if you do have a question that you have for me, for my ask Renee sessions, comment it here and don’t forget to subscribe in my Youtube Channel, give me a thumbs up and I will see you guys next time. Bye for now.